There are many ways to treat substance abuse. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) may be the most well known. One you may not be familiar with is called Al-Anon Family Groups. The Al-Anon way is to stop enabling or to detach with love.

You might be shocked and angry when Al-Anon informs you that you yourself could be one of the major influences reinforcing the behavior of the alcoholic/addict you’re trying to help. But before you pass judgment, consider Al-Anon’s major discovery that substance abuse in most cases forces those closest to the alcoholic/addict to unknowingly act in ways that strengthen the grip of the addiction.

In essence what happens is that the immediate family members and best friends may not even realize that the alcoholic/addict they care about has developed a disease. In their ignorance These lovers, spouses, parents, children, or friends help the substance abuser deny or escape the problems caused by the addiction. They tell lies or make up excuses for the substance abuser’s missed days of work, accidents fistfights etc. They believe the alcoholic/addict when he or she says it’ll never happen again.

Make no mistake, this is all done with the best of intentions. They really hope their caring will make things better for the substance abuser. They may fear embarrassment and even possible loss of a job by the alcoholic/addict which may result in a loss of financial support.

Ultimately they find that the excessive drinking or drugging not only continues but gets worse over time. It’s not unusual for heated arguments or fights to ensue. And the alcoholic/addict may even blame his or her substance abuse on all this nagging although that’s just another excuse.

In the end what has happened is the formation of a vicious circle. On one hand, the substance abuse has led those around the alcoholic/addict to shield the substance abuser from the consequences of the addiction. But those consequences might be just what the alcoholic/addict needs to acknowledge in order to get on the road to recovery.

On the other hand, the addiction has made those around the substance abuser upset and possibly even hostile or enraged. As a result, the substance abuser feels increasingly more guilty which leads to even more substance abuse as a temporary escape from the reality of the situation.

The goal of Al-Anon is to provide a means to break this destructive descending spiral that traps the substance abuser and those who care about him or her. Al-Anon attempts to help the substance abuser recover in three ways:

1. By changing reactions from those that reinforce addiction to reactions that combat addiction.

2. By introducing knowledge & information about alcoholism/addiction into the lives of the substance abuser and his or her family & friends.

3. Most importantly according to Al-Anon, the substance abuser can find ways to remove or alleviate the causes of the substance abuse so that it can be defeated.

Like other organizations, Al-Anon’s support group consists of men and women who’ve been in the shoes of the substance abuser and understand what he or she is going through. They attempt to help by making you part of the solution rather than part of the problem.. Some of these people are likely to become close friends.

In the end, don’t forget that the substance abuser cannot be helped unless and until he or she truly wants to be helped. And when that day comes, Al-Anon may be a great solution.